It's not every day that I get to work with a student like Claire Shubeck. She is humble, mature beyond her years, super detailed and articulate with her movement, and works hard to execute every picture and extend every line. That being said, it was an honor to create this competition solo for her this year. 

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We started in a very collaborative way---  journaling in our notebooks, looking at images, sourcing movement organically with no music or counts. I always love working this way in order to create movement that fits the dancer. It is important to me that they feel connected to the movement and self-expressed through the choreography... especially as a soloist.

Thank you, Claire, for working so hard to bring this piece to life. Watching you dance brings me so much joy.. and also chills. I am so incredibly proud of you.

I'm a doggie mama!

So the story goes... 
I am an animal lover. Cats, dogs, bunnies... anything with fur and a cute face. I am that girl who walks by a dog and squeals with excitement because I can't contain how much I love them. I thought about getting a cat a long time ago, but that idea died when I found out Barney is highly allergic. So... to satisfy my animal obsession, I started dog sitting for a while in my neighborhood. And I loved it! What's better than making a little cash for spending time with a pup?! But there was part of me that was so sad every time they left. I wanted one of my own. 

Time passed, and my twin sister came to visit for a few days. The first thing she said when she sat on my couch was, "Your apartment is missing something.... You need a dog." (She is a doggie mama herself- rescued a Sharpei Labrador Mix 2 years ago from Puerto Rico!) She was scrolling on Instagram, and then showed me an account called Susie Home for Senior Dogs. There was a dog on there with terminal bone cancer. She said, "Look! This dog has cancer like you! They just need someone to give it a happy life! He could be your cancer buddy." 

That was when the seed was planted. 
I thought for a while. My main concerns were be 1. Do I have the time to take care of a dog. &  2. Do I have the money to take care of a dog. 

My responses to my concerns: 
1. Yes- I do have time and a very flexible schedule- more so than a 9-to-5er. and Barney is willing to help. It is more accessible to ask for help now more than ever with these new dog walking apps. & 
2. Yes. I am certainly not the richest person in the world, but I can budget. In fact, having a dog would mean I have a little creature depending on me. Adopting a dog would mean creating a future of finanical stability. Which, as an artist, I would love to have. 

That being said, I submit an application to adopt this dog. I went through the process, had a phone call interview and everything....  and then sad news came. The veterinarian said dog only had about 1-6 months left to live. So the shelter and I decided it was best to keep him in with his current foster mama for the remainder of his life. It was sad, I just figured I would find another doggie for me another time! 

On a random Thursday evening, the shelter calls me asking if I would like to foster a dog they pulled from the shelter. They warned me that she was very scared, shy, and sick, and just needed a quiet place to recover and get some love. I said YES, without asking any questions. She said "Great! We'll drop her off on Saturday!"

It's kind of silly and totally unreasonable now that I think of it now, but perhaps it was also just a sign that the universe had my back...? Deep down I knew it was the right thing to do.

Long story short. I am a foster parent failure. I was only supposed to keep Juliet for a few weeks until she got adopted... but when the adopting applications started coming in, I couldn't imagine my life with out her. 

I think I fell in love with Juliet the first moment I saw her in her crate when they dropped her off. Her eyes her droopy, her head was low. She was so skinny and weak. In need of love. Her spine and ribcage protruded from her mange infected skin. She smiled of must, and would sneeze green doggie snot across my apt every 5 min. She was taking like 4 different medications for a couple weeks, along with medicated baths and ear drops. It was A LOT to do at first, but she was also SO CHILL about it all. It was as if she knew it I was there to help her. 

I'll never forget the time I was sitting on the couch, and she cuddled up next to me and just started gently licking my hand while looking up at me. It was as if she was saying thank you. 

I adopted Juliet in March, and it was the best decision I have ever made IN MY ENTIRE LIFE so far! She has added nothing but joy and love to my life and to my community. I am also happy to report she is COMPLETELY healthy and STRONG  and LOVEABLE as can be. (She is cuddled up next to me as I type this.)

Love truly does heal. 

---

“On a visit to the Associated Humane Society of Newark, one dog in particular caught our eye. Extremely skinny Juliet was standing in the back of her kennel with raw and red skin, swollen paws covered in sores, shaking with her head down. We did not know exactly what was wrong or what she had been through, but we were certain that she not only needed medical attention right away, but that she needed out of the shelter as soon as possible. It was clear this poor dog had suffered horrible neglect for a long time, and that she physically and emotionally could not survive the stressful shelter environment.

Juliet was terrified of everyone and everything. She would not take a treat from a person’s hand. Her tail was constantly tucked between her legs and she avoided being touched. Juliet broke our hearts, and we made it our mission to get her out of the shelter. She reminded us so much of other dogs we had rescued, and we believed that with a little bit of patience and some medical care, Juliet would eventually come out of her shell. Although she was so fearful, we could see just how sweet and loving this girl is deep down.

Luckily, we were able to find fosters Brianna and Barney who were looking to help a dog in real need. With antibiotics, some medicated baths, and most importantly love, Juliet started looking and feeling so much better after only a few days. She warmed up completely to her foster parents, who quickly decided they could not let her go.

Thank you to Brianna and Barney for not only adopting sweet Juliet, but for opening your hearts and home to a dog in such great need. Juliet is a genuine example of resiliency, forgiveness, and unconditional love that makes rescue animals truly special. ”

— www.shelterchic.org/success-stories

Human beings are amazing. I believe the human spirit is the strongest force there is. Even at our lowest lows, our spirit can remain unbroken and fighting.

Here's to those that choose to fight and never ever ever give up. 

"The Universe in not outside of you. Look inside yourself; everything that you want, you already are."  

-Rumi 

I had a simple idea to make a christmas dance video with a few friends. I told my multi-talented friend, Kyle Breen, about it, and he jumped on board to contribute his brilliant ideas. Kyle is one of my favorite people to work with because he always challenges me to go bigger and think outside the box.

1 google sheet + 1 trips to central park + 2 google docs + 3 late night phone calls + 78 text messages +  25 dancer +, 2 videographers + 3 cameras  =  and we had ourselves an epic video project! 

To My Dancers: 

THANK YOU from the very bottom of my yellow heart for all of your love, support, and dedication to make this happen. You all are so so so so special to me. To have all of you together and dancing was BEYOND MAGICAL for me to witness. 

It could not have been a more perfect day... First of all, the weather was not as bad as it could have been, considering it's December in New York City. Yet in the background for the scenes, we had this beautiful light dusting of snow on the ground! We also didn't get kicked out- despite Kyle climbing up and hanging upside down on iconic park landmarks to glitter bomb people! He also didn't break a single bone after jumping off a 15 foot boulder! (I was literally scared for his life.) As a group, we spread so much joy and happiness in creating this. We touched and inspired so many lives as people watched us dance around like fools, especially the HUGE crowd in front of Bethesda Fountain! And then to finish it all off, we got a visit from so many friendly doggies when we wrapped!!! 

We brought magic to the world, and the world gave us magic back. 

Spread your love and light. 

Because 1. many of you have been asking, and 2. this is a way for me to find support & give support to others that may be going through the same thing. 

Basically, my cancer is growing.
Really slowly!! and not by a lot!! but still... growing. 😕

Detailed explanation/thoughts: 
In the past year, my thyroglobulin (the tracker for my thyroid cancer) has increased from 2.8, to 3.3, to NOW 3.5. Is it enough of an increase to freak out? No- but the general trend is a bit off setting. In regards to my scans, they found a tiny vascular nodule in my right thyroid bed that is super small (like 0.2x0.3 cm). Could this be the cancer? Maybe... But it's not big enough to do surgery or anything- just something to watch and keep a close eye on. 
My instructions were to wait, and to get my tests and scans in 6 months to see if anything changes. 😑 

But the thing is, I don't want to wait. I want to HEAL myself NOW and have this cancer thing be overrrrr. 

I feel annoyed, frustrated, and exhausted from this whole experience. Been dealing with cancer for the past 11 years-- this thyroid cancer alone for the past 4 years. I feel like I am running a never-ending marathon where the finish line keeps moving up 10 miles. I keep wondering if I should mentally prepare myself for this to be a long-lasting chronic thing, or if I should put in all my hope/effort/time/money/energy to get rid of it as soon as I can. 
I am resetting my mindset to a combination of both ideas. I need to find a balance of preparing myself mentally for a long journey, AND also be positive, full of hope, and never give up on my daily challenges, whatever they may be. If freedom of cancer is what I want, I need to be consistent and powerfully determined with my actions EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. 
I am not cancer free yet, but I am determined to get there. I don't know how long it will take, (I may become a grandma before I get there! 👵🏼), but I am going to fight every day. I will be victorious. 👊🏼

Here I go... 🙂